God made men for a purpose. We were made to work, build, protect, provide, and care for what has been put in our hands. Genesis gives us that picture from the beginning. Man was not created to drift through life without direction. He was given work. He was given responsibility. He was given people and places to care for.
Pretty straightforward right? Wrong.
Sin has a way of ruining everything. Work gets frustrating. Marriage exposes selfishness you did not know was there. Fathering requires infinite love patience. Friendships take work when life gets busy.
Then there is the cultural confusion surrounding manhood. We are told that men should be tough, independent, successful, and in control. Toxic masculinity is a title no one wants to claim.
So what should a man actually look like?
The Redeemed Man (affiliate link) provides a stunning portrait.
Joel Beeke, Richard Phillips, Paul Smalley, and the other contributors do not try to answer that question by giving men a list of techniques for becoming more masculine. They start with regeneration by the Spirit.
The starting point matters because biblical manhood is not something men can manufacture through willpower. Before I can think seriously about being a husband, father, church member, worker, or citizen, I have to reckon with the fact that I am a sinner saved by grace.
The book grounds every chapter in conversion. Christian maturity is not self-improvement. It is the slow, slogging work of sanctification.
The book also has a helpful progression. It starts with a man's relationship with God and then moves into the rest of his life: family, church, work, and community. That makes sense. The different parts of our lives are not separate. We are not silos. What happens in our walk with God eventually shows up at the dinner table, in the workplace, at church, and in the way we treat our neighbors.
One of the things I enjoyed most was the breadth of topics. Chapters include: honoring parents, friendship, family worship, recreation, stewardship, citizenship, retirement, health, perseverance, and preparing for death.
I am approaching my mid-thirties. I have a wife, children who are getting older, a mortgage, work responsibilities, and the privilege of serving in the local church. Life is full in the best sense! But there are bills to pay, things that need fixing, people who need attention, and plenty of days when I get to the end of the day and realize I did not get nearly as much done as I thought I would.
Reading this book made me think about those ordinary things differently.
A lot of what God asks of us does not look impressive. Loving your wife when you are tired is not impressive. Getting up with your kids is not impressive. Showing up when someone needs you is not impressive. Doing your job well when nobody is going to praise you for it is not impressive.
But those things matter.
In fact, I think that is one of the places where the book is strongest. It pushes back against the idea that a meaningful life must be a remarkable one. Faithfulness usually happens in ordinary places.
The chapters on work and building institutions resonated with me in my current season. Scripture tells us that our labor in the Lord is not in vain (1 Cor. 15:58), but Psalm 90 reminds us that our days are limited. I need to be reminded of both truths consistently.
Men, we have work to do, but we are not going to be here forever.
That should give us some perspective. I do not need to build something with my name on it. I do not need everyone to know what I have accomplished. I need to be faithful with what God has given me.
For me, that means my family. My church. My work. The people I have authority over. There are things I would like to accomplish, certainly, but I am increasingly convinced that faithfulness matters more than I appreciate.
The book is also practical without becoming superficial. The contributors are pastors and theologians, but they are not writing as though Christian men live in seminar rooms. They deal with marriage, repentance, work, evangelism, perseverance, and the everyday responsibilities that come with different stages of life.
What I appreciated most, though, is that the book does not leave me thinking that I simply need to try harder.
I already know how that goes.
I can make a list. I can set goals. I can decide that tomorrow I am going to be more patient, more disciplined, more present, more intentional. And then tomorrow comes.
What I need is Christ.
I need the gospel to keep doing its work in me. I need to repent when I fail. I need to believe God's promises when I am discouraged. I need to keep growing, even when the progress feels slow.
That is the kind of manhood I found in The Redeemed Man (affiliate link). Not a polished image of masculinity, but a picture of men learning to follow Christ in the middle of ordinary life.
Our churches do not need men who simply look strong. They need men who know where their strength comes from. They need men who take responsibility without becoming controlling, who lead without needing to dominate, who work hard without making work their identity, and who love their families without treating them as accessories to their own ambitions.
Most of all, they need men who belong to Jesus.
That is why I think this book is worth reading. It does not offer a formula for becoming the perfect man. Instead, it keeps pointing us back to the man we are becoming because of Christ.
The editors put it well: "When Jesus changes a man, He changes everything."
“When Jesus changes a man, He changes everything. A redeemed man acts differently, speaks differently, thinks differently, and lives for something bigger than himself. A redeemed man honors God and blesses everyone around him when every area of his life is shaped by grace.”
Joel R. Beeke (author of How to Lead Your Family), Richard D. Phillips (author of The Masculine Mandate), and Paul M. Smalley gather pastors and teachers from around the world to highlight what sets apart a redeemed man. Rooted in Scripture and shaped by decades of ministry experience, this book gives readers a clear, practical look at the core marks of godly manhood today.
Table of Contents
Part 1: A Godly Man’s Relationship with God
1. The Redeemed Man Repenting and Believing
Joel R. Beeke and Paul M. Smalley
2. The Redeemed Man Knowing His God
Conrad Mbewe
3. The Redeemed Man Committed to God’s Word
Paul M. Smalley
4. The Redeemed Man Growing in Grace
Sinclair B. Ferguson
Part 2: A Godly Man’s Relationships with People
5. The Redeemed Man Honoring His Parents
Terry Johnson
6. The Redeemed Man Living in Singleness
Curt Daniel
7. The Redeemed Man Loving His Wife
Joel R. Beeke
8. The Redeemed Man Leading His Family
Jason Helopoulos
9. The Redeemed Man Discipling His Children
Richard D. Phillips
10. The Redeemed Man Growing in Family Worship
Joel R. Beeke
11. The Redeemed Man Cultivating Friendships
Michael A. G. Azad Haykin
12. The Redeemed Man Witnessing to Unbelievers
David Strain
Part 3: A Godly Man’s Work
13. The Redeemed Man Viewing Work Rightly
Richard D. Phillips
14. The Redeemed Man Laboring at His Work
Daniel Doriani
15. The Redeemed Man Serving in His Church
Kevin DeYoung
16. The Redeemed Man Managing His Resources
Jim Newheiser
17. The Redeemed Man Enjoying His Recreations
Gerard Hemmings
18. The Redeemed Man Governing as a Citizen
David C. Innes
Part 4: A Godly Man’s Finishing Well
19. The Redeemed Man Sustaining His Health
Joseph Pipa
20. The Redeemed Man Persevering in His Faith
Geoff Thomas
21. The Redeemed Man Entering Retirement
Derek W. H. Thomas
22. The Redeemed Man Preparing for His Death
Ian Hamilton
