Christianity involves giving and receiving counsel. Whether a pastor, elder, deacon, small-group leader, parent, or counselor, ministry requires listening, understanding, correcting, encouraging, comforting, and pointing people toward Christ. Christian counsel requires formulating a disciplined understanding of the person before correcting ideals, behavior, or thinking patterns. Empathy is indispensable to this diagnostic practice. How do we reconcile that with Joe Rigney’s Leadership and The Sin of Empathy? (affiliate link.)
If you’re not familiar, here’s a good summary article written in the style of C. S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters. Rigney argues that empathy is dangerous. That brought out some strong reactions. Jonathan Worthington accused Rigney of accepting a “popular but bastardized” definition of empathy on the Gospel Coalition webpage.
My first reaction, trained by years of counseling, was that Rigney misunderstood empathy. However, his definition aligns with Merriam-Webster: “Empathy is the ability to understand, share, and vicariously experience the emotions and perspectives of another person.” Homing in on “vicarious experience,” Rigney argues empathy can become the enemy of truth. Rigney is right to reject empathy when it becomes emotional identification, moral surrender, or compulsory affirmation. But that is not the function, nor the only possible outcome, of empathy. Properly bounded by truth, discernment, and wisdom, empathy is the necessary disciplined means of understanding another person. It informs the empathic listener so that truth is wisely applied.
Rigney is responding to the cultural use of the word. In popular discourse, empathy carries an expectation of emotional identification and affirmation. But words frequently have multiple uses, and popular use is rarely the correct one. While the popular definition is erroneous and problematic, it is undeniably widespread. Yet, advocates for truth cannot accept error to correct error. In the psychological sciences, empathy names the discipline of understanding another person’s experience. It is essential to do this before intervening. Valid intervention mandates understanding another person from their own perspective. Empathy distinguishes itself from sympathy or compassion because of its “understand-first” mandate.
Rigney proposes that sympathy and compassion are enough. Each serves a distinct role. Sympathy recognizes that another person is suffering. Compassion motivates a response. Empathy investigates how the person understands suffering, why the problem persists, and what may prevent them from receiving valid counsel.
Understanding Is Not Agreement
The primary, and most dangerous, misunderstanding about empathy is that it is agreement. While you must understand someone to help them, the risk Rigney points out is that through understanding, one is tempted to rationalize on their behalf. His concerns are valid. That reasoning plays out in the public sphere and popular culture constantly. Empathy itself is not the sin here, cowardice when truth and attachment intersect is. The same vice plays out in the political sphere constantly. Civic participation is not a sin because some sacrifice truth for political power. Affirmation is the same bending of principle in the face of attachment. The answer is not to discard empathy, but to apply it accurately enough to respond wisely. Faithful pastoral ministry practices this, even if it uses different language.
Without empathy, Christian counsel can become the ministerial equivalent of handing a Band-Aid to someone with a broken limb: the helper feels that something has been done, while the suffering person remains unaided. Compassion and sympathy without the understanding brought by empathy fails to address immediate distress and the underlying problem.
Meaningful ministry mandates knowing the person you minister to. This requires understanding how they think, what they feel, and why their responses to problems make sense to them. Hiding within all of that is the key to lasting, meaningful change. Still, understanding their perspective as reasonable comes with the temptation of affirming it as correct. Rigney’s criticism is valid. But the concern is affirmation, not empathy.
Biblically, the incarnation illustrates the principle of entering the human condition without being overcome by it. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb. 4:15). The Greek word sumpatheō is defined by Thayer’s Greek dictionary as “to be affected with the same feeling as another.” Hebrews reveals something central about Christian ministry: Christ’s full participation in human weakness did not require participation in sin. His example permits us to distinguish entering another person’s experience from affirming everything within that experience.
The New Testament repeatedly calls believers to enter one another's burdens without surrendering truth. Paul commands us to “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2). He is speaking of entering another person's life, not aiding from a distance. Paul asks, “Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant?” (2 Cor. 11:29). Properly understood, empathy is not an enemy of truth. It is the path by which truth can be heard. It can be a biblical step toward connecting with someone.
Understanding Before Intervening
Empathy is diagnostic, not decisive. A physician who suppresses symptoms without understanding a disease might relieve pain but ignores the main illness. When Christians seek to restore, disciple, evangelize, or counsel others, we need to consider the same. Christ entered the human condition without sin. Christians can enter another person's mindset without surrendering biblical discernment.
Further, empathy helps understand the barriers to a solution. Most problems are not difficult because the solution is unknown. They're difficult because people cannot implement what they know they need to do. Every addict knows what needs to stop, but getting past denial requires empathy. We are challenged with understanding why knowledge has failed to produce change. Empathy helps identify the barriers that prevent a person from recognizing, receiving, or acting upon truth. Scripture consistently addresses the heart before behavior. Empathy helps distinguish between presenting behavior and deeper issues. Clinically or theologically, it is essential to understand before prescribing.
Empathy Under Discernment
Rigney rightly observes that modern culture elevates empathy into a standalone virtue. Christians must resist that. Yet, scripture never presents understanding and truth as competitors, the pharisees did. Those hoping to minister to an increasingly secular world must consider empathy as a means of understanding rather than a source of discernment. Like any other skill, it can neither be discarded nor all encompassing. When anchored in truth, empathy follows an incarnational pattern; when an exclusive “rule of life” it falls into dangerous confusion of love with agreement.
Understanding how people communicate, defend themselves, or process emotion should be evaluated by scripture rather than dismissed. Properly bounded empathy serves Gospel ministry.
Pity Acknowledges: There is a problem here.
Empathy asks: Why would this make sense to them?
Discernment tests: What is the truth of the matter?
Wisdom decides: What should I do about it?
Compassion moves: Here are the actions I must take.
Truth without understanding becomes accusation. Understanding without truth descends into affirmation. Empathy asks us to understand. Discernment tests what is true. Wisdom decides our response. Christian ministry requires understanding and truth guided by wisdom.
References
Hardee, J. T. (2003). An overview of empathy. The Permanente Journal, 7(4), 51. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5571783/
Lanzoni, S. (2019). The Surprising History of Empathy. In Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/empathy-emotion-and-experience/201911/the-surprising-history-empathy
Rogers, C. (1961). On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy. Constable.
